Well, there's a few other pregnant girls at my school. Not surprising for my area and in a school full of over 2600 people. But anyways, we all get together every once and a while, and yesterday was one of those days. Everyone was talking about names and clothes and nurseries and stuff. How so and so's boyfriend couldn't wait to read to their baby. And it just got me a little upset. They definitely didn't mean to make me feel bad, and one girl pulled me aside to make sure I was okay afterward. It just got me thinking how it's all those little things I'm going to miss. Sure, Ava will be read to and sung to and taken on walks and things like that. It just kind of hurts that I won't be the one to do that. I really wish that I could do that, but in all truth, reading to her and singing to her would most likely be a few of the only things I really would be able to do for her. I miss her already, and she isn't even born yet. I feel her move all the time, and hear her heartbeat at doctor's appointments. I love her so much, and I only want the best for her. I remind myself constantly that this is why we're doing it, because she deserves the best.
I know Sean loves her, too. I can see it in his eyes and in his smile when he feels her kicks. I just wish that love really was all a baby needed. I don't regret making this choice at all, it's just that sometimes I feel a little sad about it.
My name is Lulu, and I am a 16 years old. I am pregnant, and will be giving my daughter up for adoption. This blog will chart my journey from finding out I'm pregnant, to giving birth and beyond. I came up with this idea when I was too lazy to make a written journal. :)